turbo mode.

kalau nak diikutkan, memang aku betul-betul berehat.
masalahnya, esok supervisor nak tengok hasil perahan otak.
wawawawawaha!

wish me luckkkkkk.

of being a menantu hihihi.

Last raya, the other half came with his siblings.
And after sooooo many years, tahun ini rendang dendeng terhidang.
And they love it.

So today, aku kenalah masak since his mom wants to taste it too after they brag about it back home.
His mom invited me to cook at their house since she wants to learn to cook it.
Bahahahhahahaha dead meat la aku hahahah anxious.

So, aku decide nak test buat today guna paste mama bagi belen aritu.
Kasi rasa dulu nak masak from scratch pikir nanti.

Huhuhuhu rendang dendeng, here i come.
Wish me luck, pray that it will turn out okay and edible.

badass.

When the instruction is vague, what do you expect?
Aku tak tahu dia nak apa.
Mengajarnya tidak, tetiba bagi kerja.

Tahi.

Aku rebel.
Risau assignment tak siap.
Tapi dah tamau buat.
Tapi tak boleh tidur sebab risau.

Haih mensiklah.
Kalau malas mengajar, jangan jadi pensyarah.

here we go again.

Discuss to her, is to obey.
Suggest then, it's the best to follow.

Adil ke?

Baru tadi borak pasal kesabaran dalam rumahtangga.
Kena ada toleransi, tolak ansur.
Sentiasa beralah.

Tup tup tang majlis kahwin semua nak buat keputusan sendiri.
Cukuplah sudah aku force the date.

Haih mana ni hak toleransi aku ni wehhhh.
Sungguh bukan miss SABARiah aku ni.

end of the rope.

I almost quit.
Was so exhausted.

But they said i have to wait till it's over.
Which is in 2015.

Unless, i misbehave.

No back bone, and what are you?
The squid.

Squid is good.

heart throbbing.

There are times you feel like crying but you couldn't.
What would you do to ease the pain and suffering?

I've lost a great friend.
Succumbed to death the strength pillar.

No matter how much love you claim to have.
You still hurt the most.

Can you be more gentle?
Your words, your voice; they kill.

The heart hurts.
Would you care to care.

The least, at least.

big hole in the pocket.

menangis tengok jumlah saman terkumpul dalam tak sedar. 

kena dua saman speed trappppppp.

hadoiii koyak rm300 tuuuu.
dua-dua kena dekat jambatan dekat exit kajang highway plus utara selatan tu.

and both were on weekends!

esok nak mula menanam ubi kayu la. 

huuuuuuu.

on the other hand, i can't imagine how much summons will i collect bila tukar kereta nanti. kereta yang semput tu pun sakan aku tekan sampai nak tembus lantai.

nah, padan muka.

huuuuuu.

Hachi: A dog's tale made me cried like a baby. ecewahh.

after so long, at last dapat juga menonton this movie. dah agak pasti sedih but never thought i would sob like hell bahahahhaaa. sedihhhhhhh gileeeeeeee. tambah dengan nak datang bulan, well that sums the whole thing hihihihi.

each time i dream him, it's always almost the same. cerita sama, plot sama.

i think i have unresolved issues. haih.

indahnya berangan.

hari ni takde mood. 

malas nak kupas pasai apa. 

isu sensitif, isu sama. 

bolak balik pokok pangkal, semua perihal rezeki. 

haihhh.

nahhh. layan jela entri ni. 

menarik.

selamat hari malaysia, in advance.

not that i purposely be choosy.

hello ya'll. 

today, i'm in the mood of talking about clothes. i made a purchase this evening so i feel like sharing. ecewaaah mukadimah gedik.

let's begin with recapping my now and forever problem. i'm a big size person; i consider myself big although my height doesn't agree with it, but my weight and body measurement are definitely not asian type yang orang dok ingat petite and comel lote tu.

my bra size is 34D. itu kalau tak berlaku pembengkakkan akibat nak period. kalau tak, size akan besar lagi huhuhu. kalau shopping di sini, yang harga ekonomi untuk size tersebut semua gaya mak nenek belaka. kalau mahal sikit, kadang jumpa yang sexy and young tak nenek-nenek sangat. tapi larat lah nak beli mahal weehhh. cuma untungnya, bra mahal tahan lama and have better support for my heavy boobs. so, nak tanak i spent so much on them demi nak kelihatan sexy dan menarik dan terasa muda bahahaha jujur kau nak cerita pasal nenen kat sini huhu.

punkoq aku pulak kalah jlo bahahahaa. tayah la aku cakap pasal measurement punggung, cukup la aku cakap badan aku montok ada shape walaupun sedikit chubby. ecewah perasan. itu pun sebab aku ada boobs bersize europe dan pungkoq nigerian bahahahaha kalau tak sadis tengok body shape sendiri.

tapi ni aku nak cerita pasal barang aku beli tadi. sports bra. aku suka beli yang full, bukan separuh sekadar support breasts je. so far size paling besar aku pernah jumpa is XL. ha size aku la tu hahahaha. tapi sedih, selalu dekat boobies sangkut walaupun tu yang paling besau hihihi. kalau ikutkan, dah pakai sports bra ni tayahlah pakai bra dah kan, tapi kalau aku buat macam tu, macam tak selesa bila berlari sebab aku ada heavy breasts nanti melantun-lantun jadi sakit   -______________-"

but whatever, aku nak comparekan between two brands. so far aku sangat in love dengan adidas. tapi harga amboiii cekik darah mak ikh3.

 

 

the blue is adidas, and the pink is reebok. both are in XL. if you notice, yang adidas nampak lagi solid elok je bersidai berbanding yang pink. it's due to the material la. yang blue kain dia lebih tebal and tahan lasak, jahitan sangat kemas kalau kau push tertarik sana sini pun masih intact. berbanding dengan yang pink, material sangat nipis dan lebih fragile. ganas sikit je boleh dengar 'prakkk' hahahahaaa.

 

dari pandangan belakang pun, dah nampak sangat blue memang ada better support. stress sikit dengan pinky sebab bila nak pakai tu agak 'bergaduh' jugak nak make sure everything is in place hahahaa. dan sebab blue lebih pendek, dia placing ngam-ngamla atas pungkoq aku. kalau yang pink neh macam terjerut sikit tak muat maklumlah punggung nigerian, remember? hahahhaa.

inside them pulak, pink lagi lembut berbanding blue. tapi tuh satu faktor bahaya jugak sebab senang koyak bahahahaa. lubang untuk padding blue lagi senang nak reach berbanding pinky. aku ni ganas benda kena selak-selak ni silap-silap ada peluang koyak hahaha. blue siap ada lubang angin bawah dada and belakang, memang comfortable sangat kau tak rasa terseksa. pink tak ada lubang pengudaraan, and aku kena test dulu sebab tadi baru beli hihihi.

tapi aku taklah membenci yang pink ni walaupun banyak yang serba tak kena dengan beliau. dengan harga yang separuh lebih murah dari adidas, aku pasrah. tetap aku sayang dua-dua. cuma aku harap pembuat pakaian kena fikirkan juga la orang dada besau macam aku ni sebab part lain muat, tang dada sangkut. sedih.

end up aku kena pakai baju besar gedoboih sebab nak accommodate keperluan dada. haummm. kalau tak, aku kena shopping dekat kedai yang offer baju size bukan orang kita - which in other words, are expensive or freaking expensive hahahaaa.

bukan aku dengan sukahati memilih nak barang mahal, it's just that aku tak diberi banyak pilihan oleh orang tempatan. siapa je tamau bergaya dengan belanja yang minimal, kan? sobssss.

p/s: beli bra dekat la senza JPO super heaven. rm100 dapat tiga helai. kalau di KL, 100 is for one. ONE ok. harga bra lagi mahal dari baju kerja. puiiihhh.

"action comes first, then motivation," he says.

he also said, "don't find the time, allocate the time". i couldn't agree less. in my situation, i need to hold closely to what he had said. 

masa sangat mencemburui aku. rasa masa berlalu dengan sekelip mata tapi masih banyak yang tak dikerjakan. this week we are just too busy with exam papers submission and meetings. september is going to be another busy month for me. heh rasanya macam every month is a busy month huhuhu.

i'm working on my chapter one and two. hopefully the rough draft will be settled asap. i have my target but can't say it here as i'm afraid that it will backfire me hahahaaa. i notice that i work better under pressure, so kita wait and see lahh.

nak kata stress, not so much because i'm used to it. cuma i wish boleh bersenang lenang buang masa tak buat apa-apa tanpa rasa bersalah. for now i'm always haunted by guilt bila bermalasan hohoho.

i have approximately one year to tie the knot; aku nervous dia lagilah nervous selalu ubah topik when i mention about the day bahaha tak tahulah aku patut kecik hati ke apa tapi lantak man botak la wehhhh. i couldn't bother anymore sebab i also have approximately a year to complete my research.

aku aim nak proceed dengan phd terus, insyaAllah. tapi if only it comes with good irresistible offer la; contohnya cuti gaji penuh dan ada elaun study jugak hahahaha too good to be true kot.

aku dah tengok commonwealth scholarship, memang awesome gilalah kalau dapat hihii. kalau ikut bidang, yang aku tengah buat ni sangat baru kat malaysia, agak-agaknya ada ke peluang huhuhuu.

hoi berangan. mari sambung kerja lah~