the abuse of comparative and superlative forms.

tudia tajuk aku dah macam tulis paper akademik hahahaha. but nahhh this one is just a random post about my life as a mom. 

competition in life is endless, kan? letih sangat comparison especially bab parenting ni. bab becoming parents etc. aku beranak operate, pun jadi isu nak cakap normal lebih sakit bla bla bla. i am in no position to compare, you know? for me, kau beranak operate pun perut kau rabak, kau beranak ikut vajajay pun sama rabak. semua ada battle masing-masing, we own our own scars. so i tought.

eh tapi takkkk. not for those righteous people out there. dialah betoi, dialah hebat, dialah everything LOL. 

if i wanna brag, i can brag about lots of things. 

iols berjaya breastfeed anak iols 2 tahun chuolsss despite masalah tongue tie dia tu *tiup kuku* hebat kan? *smug face*

iols operate lepas tu tak habis tutup lagi perut rabak iols tu, ubat bius hilang chuolsss. iols tahan seketika acah-acah 'nak test mampu tak tahan sakit' aka aku blurrrr hahahahha sebelum menggelupur sebab sakit nak mampus kah kah kahhhhh hebat tak iols? hebat  kan? kan? *muka angkuh*

anak iols boleh bercakap dwibahasa chuolssss.. pakkal iols ni tak reti cakap arab je kalau tak tiga bahasa chuolss... nasib dah lupa bahasa jepun kalau tak memang sembang kari in nihongo la anak aku *flip hair*

see, lots and lots of things. but what for i wanna brag? my satisfaction? i don't need such feed to satisfy my needs. because i feel content with whatever i have. the fact that we almost lost our son with occasional bleeding episodes through gestation period, what more he was born prematured - we are happy with the way he is. he's smart. yes, why not i feel that way towards my blood? he's cute and adorable. of course! why not i feel that way towards my blood? he's my son for fishing sake. but should i go to people's face and keep boasting about it? of course not. 

you see, aku pun ada isu dengan some people whenever i say something nice about my son unintentionally - sebab kebetulan dia buat perilaku tersebut - they would be saying 'oh si polan tu lagi laaa bagus bla bla bla'. but i am not mad. sebab aku fahamlah if that's the apple of your eyes. you nak lebihkan dia, itu hak you lah. and telling you, this particular person is very very close to us tau. even my husband acknowledges this fact despite it comes from his side of relative hahaha. but that's okay for us. sebab he is our son, takpelah orang lain rasa dia biasa; to us he is special. very much. lantak sanalah kau nak compare-compare ke hapa hahaha.

but it becomes so hard to share my son's doings dengan family members sebab lepas tu ada je yang nak lawan haha. relative ni tau. related by blood. mula-mula aku rasa kebetulan. tapi lama-lama rasa eh same activity mesti nak highlight anak dia mampu buat jugak. udah kenapaaaa hahahaha. lek lek dahlahhh. aku nak tunjuk my son's happy face dia berjaya buat sesuatu 'adventure'. anak kau boleh buat jugak baguslah. baguslah anak kau normal. tapi entah lah lama-lama rasa tak best. in the end rasa malas nak share apa-apa sebab rasa macam kesian dekat budak yang dipertandingkan sedangkan battle tu tak wujud pun! selalu banding-banding anak aku, and jadi risau bila tak setara. penat nak cakap, berbuih rasa mulut yang semua anak tak sama. maybe aku yang over sensitive. mungkin orang tu pun sebenarnya niat nak share anak dia seronok accomplish the same activity macam anak aku hahahahahahaha tamau kalah gak aku ni over betoi.

eh tapilah kan. aku lately macam rimas bila subconsciously surirumah ni rasa 'me time' ni tak perlu. aku working mom, and still aku rasa aku perlukan me time away from my kid hahaha. aku kejam ke wehhh??? what's wrong with having my time to do what i love? bukannya aku abandon anak aku terus hahaha. walaupun everyday aku hantar dia pi taska, still kalau aku rasa nak cuti berdua-duaan dengan laki, aku cuti jela. and kitorang tetap hantar dia pergi taska. we are happy with that kind of arrangement. aku tak pastilah why some people are against this 'me time' concept, but i think it is actually quite good. my me time alone without husband is when i can sit quietly in my room, like now and do what i like macam tulis blog ni ke. there are days aku rasa nak baring atas katil tanpa ada suara halus berbisik kat telinga aku mintak susu or bising kata sempit hahahahaha. so i send that suara halus pergi taska, aku balik bergolek and own the bed to myself kahkahkah. simple je moment me time aku tapi yes, it makes me feel good. alaa kejap je punnnnn. lepas tu kompem teringat anak punyaaa. 

kau duduk 24jam dengan anak, you think that's very good ke? aku boleh je nak bahas pasal social needs, psychology needs ni but come to think about it.... why should i argue with those who feel no one is correct but only themselves? anak kecik ni, walaupun dia kecik, dia perlukan social engagement juga sebenarnya. that's why kita banyak dengar pasal playgroup, playschool semua ni. because they need to socialize to enhance their skills. this is part of their emotional and social skills. happy kids, bright future. so for them to be happy, they need to socialize. kena bagi sebab itu keperluan manusia. bukan suruh dia kawan dengan kau je. memang mom is the best, tapi kita takde apa yang budak-budak ada. which is ketidakmatangan tu hahaha. diorang kena bergaul with kids their age. nak explain makin berjela la nanti hahahaha.

anyway my masters now is in educational psychology. aku dah bosan study language hahahhahahhahahahahhahahahah *gelak nebes*

doakan aku habis study weh. aku cadang lepas master nak amik phd in child education pulak. pastu pastu tengoklah apa jadi malas dah nak berangan hahaha. phd tu pun kelam samar-samar jeeeee tapi takpelah aim big, start small, make moves gitewwww.

okaylah nak sambung tulis paper akademik FOR REAL hahaha. bye.