when the heart speaks.

for today's class, my lecturer wanted to read the draft for our assignment, one that we have to submit in two weeks time. i was happy even though i was slightly tired and i was panting as i ran to get in class - i was late. i took out my work, not very satisfied with the outcome because i know i spent my time sleeping rather than doing it bahahahahaaaa. 

i looked at my friends on my left. they were busy discussing as they did the assignment together, as a pair and i was stubborn and so confident to do it alone, individually. but still, i'm happy with my decision. not for long, i read their work and started to feel stupid. haihhhh. i was so scared, and felt very much intimidated by how awesome one can write academically. i wish i would have the same talent as well. using english to write and speak has never be much of a problem to me, unless i'm super anxious. but i'm still hopeless in academic writing. it bores me to death bahaha.

i keep telling students that don't let fear conquer you. that they shouldn't worry if they find it difficult to write and speak in english. that they don't necessarily use bombastic words to awe people but later got it wrong all the way. simplicity works best. but at this stage, maybe next time i should add that when you grow up, you may need that ability to sound smart bahaha.

but thank god, even though my writing sucks, she praised me saying it was a good job, i know what i want to do for my research, and there's only little amendments to be done. you know how terrified i was during the time she read my work? i held my breath as long as i can because i was so scared that if i sigh i may have blown her away hahahahaha. it makes me happy to know she understands what i'm into and what i wish to do for my thesis because sometimes i also get lost in it.

and tomorrow, i shall start working on it again so that by the time i have to meet my beloved supervisor, i'm well prepared. why not tonight, one may ask. i just feel like i need to reward myself for doing a good job hahah such an excuse. nahhh the truth is, i've lost my motivation tonight. i'm consumed by loneliness. 

and sometimes, being single can be so tormenting. although you can have all your salary to yourself, it is still excruciating to be home alone. 

 heh lets not sob ourselves by this lame emotion. just wanna share a photo with you. 

i love the colour.

what about you?