Tuesday, August 7, 2012

take a peek.

it feels so good to be found. due to some personal reasons, aku lari bawa diri. i had a row regarding what i posted in this blog, so then i decided to change my url. i had the urge to expose myself by commenting your entries, but i held myself back. banyak fikir sangat. rasa macam tak significant pun kewujudan aku, sampailah kau tanya dalam one of your entries where had i been. terharu mak nokkkkkkkk.

i write not for readers. but it feels so good to know someone reads my writing. because i pour my heart out here. most of the time. if what you read is bad, then i am. sometimes i don't want anyone to say anything, to just give me a space to ramble. aku pernah cakap pada the other half, i'm going to invite you to my wedding.

i know not much about you, but i feel comfortable knowing i know a bit about you. i don't have many friends, so whomever i have, i'll keep to my very best. 

dulu kau belum kahwin, sampai dah ada anak satu. comel pulak tu. hihihihi. aku lebih suka tidak dikenali, jadi aku tak letak gambar aku. kalau letak pun mungkin orang pun tak tahu hahahahahaa.

aku sibuk sangat sekarang. hadiah untuk amna terbiar di atas meja, menanti masa untuk di pos. aku tahu kau mesti rasa macam aku mungkir janji cakap je beria tapi percayalah, kalau parcel ni selamat dihantar, kau orang pertama dalam hidup aku yang aku kirim hadiah hahahaha.

so cheapskate, heh? sekarang tengok baju bayi, teringat kau dan anak buah the other half. aku beli something for amna, asyik delay nak pos maka aku rasa amna pun dah tak lalu dengan hadiah aku tu jadi aku beli lain. pun terdelay lagi haih sibuknya aku wehhh sumpah tak tipu.

aku sekarang handle two kinds of business. satu jual cookies and dessert, yang ni memang dah tiga tahun berkecimpung. another one aku baru mula - kids clothing. masih belum decide nak add in jenis perniagaan dalam company sedia ada or nak set up another company so tak mix up. still haven't decided.

and at the same time, aku sibuk sangat sebab nak rebranding courses and department. banyak gila kerja, meetings almost every day. documents for mqa tak mula lagi. masih tak clear up my mind what to do for my department. dalam usaha nak selamatkan anak buah yang mengajar bahasa arab. i don't think they will be happy kena tukar department. especially nak kena jadi staf bawah that hod. not saying i'm good, but we have the bond. sangat happy bekerjasama all together. and i don't want to lose them too. haihhh if it happens, akulah orang yang paling sedih sebab tak berjaya mempertahankan anak buah sendiri. sekarang kami pulun sibuk untuk menjayakan bulan bahasa. i push my staff supaya menonjol sikit, and so far department aku on top. very efficient. i'm so happy and proud.

proposal write up pun aku put on hold. but working on reading the articles. but usually by the time ada sedikit masa sebelum tidur, aku dah terlalu letih. my brain cannot function well already hahahaha. aku postpone meeting to after raya. tu pun aku semacam bingung ni haih i know i can do it but i couldn't find the time to sit down depan lappy and start composing.

i wish i can be multitasking. maybe i am now. but i wish i can be more. more and more.

haih semua benda nak gapai. bukan tamak, tapi ambitious. aku terdengar iklan yang anak sentiasa sibuk, ibu bapa terabai. aku terasa.

tapi nak buat macam mana, balik rumah mak pun aku terpaksa tidur di bilik solat. i don't have a place at my mom's house. aku tak terasa pun; aku fully understand. dulu aku share bilik dengan adik bongsu aku. now the room belongs to her and jangan harap dia nak share dengan aku hahahahaa.

so i decide to just go back sekali sekala. and will stay not for long. aku harap mama faham, dan adik beradik aku berhenti mengaji eh mengeji aku. 

plus, now my sister stays with my mom sebab dia masih tak sihat. and the husband pun ada. so lagilah aku malas nak balik sebab renyah kena pakai tudung tutup litup 24/7. jahatkan aku?

entahhhh. but anyway, aku tak pernah claim aku baik sangat pun. sooooo, it's ok.

hihihi. 

qila, if it happens kau baca ni, doakan aku ada sedikit kelapangan. aku nak uruskan perihal hadiah amna hihihi.

p/s: you found me. tq.

3 comments:

  1. heheh title attention grabbing gile okay. aku nampak title tu kat blog aku aku went "i knew it must be for me" hahahaha lol.

    aku tak boleh balas pnjg2 sat lagi nak mandi nak amek amna tapu aku wish you all the best in everything okay.

    hik2. tergelak suka aku bila baca tang kalau kau kahwin nak ajak aku. ajak ok? kalau dekat ada rezeki aku datang; hehe.

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    1. Hahaha mmg niat cenggitu la kot kang kau terlepas rugi la aku hahaha. Tenkiu for wishing me the best beb. Hihi niat nak jemput tu dah ada, umah aku kt ampang je. Tapi tarikh apa pun takdakkkk berangan je lebih hahahahaa.

      Btw, cemana kau carik aku? Pandaiiiinyeeewww hahahaa.

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    2. aku x carik pon.. tetiba link kat kanan belog aku tu updated sndri.. hehe

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