self discovery.

1. rambut, walaupun sering dihebah-hebah sebagai mahkota wanita, tetap aku rasa dia musuh no 1 di rumah aku. rambut gugur memang sangat dibenci sebab merata-rata terpijak ikh3. 

2. hari ini aku terjumpa telur cicak yang dah selamat ditetas bawah lapik kaki. ahh mesti ada yang akan kata apakah? aku pun. nampak sangat penyewa lama bilik depan tak pernah basuh alas kaki beliau selama setahun enam bulan menyewa. lucu kan?

3. aku kini lebih tenang selepas penyewa bilik depan berpindah. walaupun pada mulanya aku marah-marah sebab all she had left for me was dirt and rubbish, tapi sekarang aku lebih bahagia ehem ehemmm.

4. i learned that when you don't feel good about it, either you let it go and be optimistic or you ask that person straight away. keeping how you feel about something or someone will only make you bitter and full of hatred. so not good for my aging skin bahahah.

5. i know i can't force people to like me, but i do know goodness, kindness and sincerity will later win. hero takkan menang awal-awal, kan? ok, you may say that stop thinking negatively about others; yes i do but this is a self discovery post so why not i just state what i've discovered, kan?

6. i also learned that when you bitch about others, expect to be bitched by others too. whenever you say something to someone about something, you can't expect that someone to just agree with you. as humans, we have what we call as defense mechanism. we retaliate when we feel what you say is wrong. so don't be taken aback. it's normal.

7. i need to amend few things. and being older, sometimes it is not helpful. however, again age helps me to heal faster. i am still thinking whether i should just wait or just do what i feel is best for both of us. maybe we should sit and talk heart to heart. we are good people but words had hurt us badly. oh well, maybe as an elder i should make a move first.

8. i discover that it is easier to deal with pain when you put courage in facing it. running away and keeping distance should not be practiced because it won't heal you. 

9. thinking how great life has treated me so far, i wonder what beauty will come next. all this while i was so confident but after last night, i know that people are just humans and humans judge other humans. how pathetic is that. nevertheless, i still love them because what completes me is the result of what they did.

10. i am in love with the right man so far. i know he may not be able to shower me with wealth in these few years, but i still love him to bits. siapa tak sayang budak botak yang sweet... bila kau datang rumah dah tersedia hidangan sarapan pagi di taman?

11. if i were to become a mother, please please please make me a good one. and please please please i don't want not to trust my own kids. because when i don't, i will always see my children to no good. poor children, heh?

12. talking about love, i am very lucky because my man treats me very good. of course there are times he drives me crazy, but who doesn't? that can be solved by communicating. we have been together for so many years, and throughout the time we've learned and we've customized ourselves to suit each other better.

13. losing my loved one just makes me open my eyes and heart wide. it had taught me about life. heh what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger. 

i couldn't ask for more. thank you, Allah.