Thursday, June 14, 2012

how do i know?

many people asked me, how do i know he's the one? i truly have no definite answer. i just know. i click with him even though not so instant, but after some time i got comfortable being together. it feels like a missing piece of yourself has been found. ecewaaah.

but then of course we're just like other couples who had times when we misunderstood each other and we argued over matters. especially when we're not on the same side duhh obviously, huh?

and each time i feel annoyed or disturbed or uncertain, i pray that if he's not the one, please make the love i have for him to disappear. but then, each time i pray as such, things work fine again. and then i fall again for him. i'm not sure if that's the answer i'm looking for or what, but it definitely makes me feel better and sure with 'us'. just now, when we were in a store looking at shoes and sports apparels, i looked at him from afar and i smiled and i felt happy suddenly. weirdo, i know. a sense of belonging, the urge to spend my life with him was so strong. it's weird how you can love another human, a stranger that much hurmmm.

i told a lady once, when she asked me how would she know if the man can take care of her - believe in Allah. trust Him, don't trust humans. people change, but He never does. so i trust Him. i'm not pious, and i know that i'm bad - sometimes i pray harder when i'm in trouble but i never lose faith. i believe Him wholeheartedly.

but well, i'm just a human. i get confused, and i get upset. but that doesn't mean i want to give up. sometimes i just need the reassurance - i'm typical, i know. i want to feel wanted. each time i feel like i'm not desired anymore, i panic. and i become insecure heh.

i'm so scared of rejection. what about you?

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